There’s a metaphor I use when thinking about privilege. Imagine an elephant and a mouse sharing a room. The elephant moves through the world largely unaware of the mouse’s presence. It doesn’t notice how its movements shake the ground, block the light, or create danger. The mouse, on the other hand, is constantly aware of the elephant, because its survival depends on it.

Privilege works the same way.

When you hold privilege—through race, gender, role, or position—it’s easy to go about your day without noticing how your choices and presence affect others. Not because you’re unkind or inattentive, but because the system has been designed so you don’t have to notice. It allows you to move freely while others navigate carefully around you.

In a recent blog post, I wrote about checking the invisible set of advantages that come from being in a position of power. Your leadership priveledge. When you’re the one with the title, the voice in the room, the final say, it’s easy to forget how much space you take up. You can unintentionally silence others simply by speaking first. You can create a culture of agreement without ever meaning to.

The elephant doesn’t mean harm. But it doesn’t see the mouse unless it makes a deliberate effort to look around.

If you hold privilege in any context, there are four responsibilities I believe you should take:

1. Look up. Recognize that your privilege gives you blind spots. The first step is choosing to see what you’ve been able to ignore.
2. Educate yourself. It’s not the mouse’s job to teach the elephant how to be careful. Read, listen, learn, unlearn. Do the work on your own time.
3. Listen. You may hear feedback that unsettles you or surfaces guilt. Get confortable with the discomfort. It is a sign you are growing.
4. Speak up. Use your voice to challenge systems, make space, and redistribute power. Don’t wait for someone with less privilege to take the risk.

Privilege when acknowledged and wielded thoughtfully can become a tool for repair rather than a source of harm.

So ask yourself: Where might you be the elephant in the room? And what will you do, now that you’ve looked up?