In my last post, I touched upon creating a support network. I believe in the importance of community so much that I am going to take a deeper dive in this post.

A decade ago, as part of my Noyce Leadership Fellowship I was asked to filled out a table with the names the people I turn to for different kinds of support. The categories were simple but revealing: Who comforts you? Who challenges you? Who celebrates with you? Who helps clarify your thoughts?

At the time, one name filled most of the boxes: my (now ex-) husband.

It was a wake-up call.

Since then, I’ve been much more intentional about building a support network that’s not only strong but diverse—emotionally, intellectually, and relationally. One person shouldn’t have to (and honestly, can’t) be everything to you. We need different types of people in our personal and professional lives, especially when we’re navigating change, growth, or even just the day-to-day grind.

Let’s break this down.

• The Comforter is someone who makes space for your feelings without rushing to solve them. They know when to say “That sounds really hard,” and when to just sit quietly with you.
• The Challenger asks the hard questions. They don’t let you coast. They believe in your potential enough to push you past your comfort zone.
• The Celebrator brings the cake or the bubbly. They remind you to pause, reflect, and honor the wins—big or small.
• The Clarifier helps you untangle your thoughts. You talk to them when your head is a swirl of maybes and what-ifs, and you leave with a sense of direction.

We all need these people. And we shouldn’t expect one person to embody all of these roles. Not our best friend. Not our mentor. Not our spouse or partner. That’s too much for anyone to carry—and it’s too risky.

When our support is concentrated in one person, we loose what we most need when that relationship changes. I learned that the hard way. But rebuilding my support network gave me a chance to ask: Who else can I lean on? Who do I need more of in my life? Who might I be underestimating—or overlooking?

Today, my table looks different. It’s filled with names from all corners of my life: my friends from the Noyce program who know what I am capable of and when I am selling myself short, my fiancee who is am amazing listener, my daughter who is the hype woman I never knew I needed, and my coach who is helps me through through all of the variables.

And I’ve become part of the support network for other people too.

So here’s your nudge: Take 10 minutes and fill out your own table. Who comforts you, challenges you, celebrates you, and clarifies your thoughts? Where are the gaps? Who could you reach out to? What relationships might you want to invest in more deeply?

No one gets through life alone. And no one should have to.